Controlling Personality Symptoms

Those who have a controlling personality will not only have issues within themselves and in their personal relationships, but may also cause harm to those they hardly know. Knowing the symptoms of a controlling personality can help you in a few significant ways, as it can guide you towards professional help if you feel you are a victim of this disorder and can also steer you away from this type of person. If you or someone you know falls under the category of a controlling personality it is best to find treatment for the disorder. There are different levels of controlling personality, from minor to severe. Some cases of controlling will go unnoticed until the specific individual enters into an exclusive relationship with another person, in which they will suffer under the control of their partner. The worst part about relationships with a controlling individual is that the beginning will start out extremely well, as the controlling individual will continuously give to their partner to ensure their happiness. While looking to the individual and those around them as the ideal relationship, this extreme giving and happiness will quickly turn sour as the relationship continues.

Once the controlling individual has stopped giving their partner everything they need to be happy, the controlling person will begin to taper off with their giving, and start with the demands and control. This process will begin very slowly, and the controller will begin trying to isolate their partner. Some of the tell tale signs of isolation is when the controller begins badmouthing their partners friends, family, and co-workers and manipulating their partner into believing he does not need these people in his life. The controller will also try and schedule one on one dates away from others, and you may notice your dates are held inside of the home.

In addition to isolation, the controller may also try and bring down the confidence of their partner. In this particular part of control, the controller attempts to make their partner feel worthless and alone, therefore 'needing' the controller. By tearing down their confidence, the controller will have a better hold on their partner and be able to control their thoughts and actions without hassle. When the confidence becomes truly broken, the controller will be able to be with their partner at all times and tell them what they can and cannot say, think, wear, and so on.

Another symptom is that they may try to change their partner. This symptom goes hand in hand with breaking down confidence. Controlling personality types will want their partners be exactly what they want. For instance if he wants a shy girl with brown hair, he will keep working to change his partner into that.

The biggest symptom of a controlling personality is jealousy. Controlling personality types get jealous about literally everything- your friends, family, work, school, and so on. If you are on the phone with your mother, they will become jealous of that because you would rather speak to your family instead of them. If you go out with your friends for the night, they will become extremely jealous, that you left with your friends instead of hanging out with them. Even if you spent all morning and afternoon with them.

The type of jealousy found in a controller is border line paranoia. While they may only become mad at bigger things such as leaving for a weekend with friends or missing their phone calls for a couple of hours, this anger will quickly escalate, sometimes to a scary degree. Controllers will oftentimes become mad about anything. For example, a controlling man in a relationship may get extremely mad when a male friend contacts their girlfriend even for platonic reasons. Another example is when a female friend becomes jealous when their boyfriend looks at a sexual scene during an R rated movie.

If you suspect that your partner has a controlling personality, it is best to walk away from the relationship. Being in a relationship with a controlling individual can cause mass amounts of harm, from the loss of family and friends to the change of your personality. Sometimes controlling individuals will even become physically abusive with their partners.


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